Shadow Work

Bring your true self out of the shadows and into the light

Top 20 Things You Can Learn at Basic Facilitator Training

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The Basic Facilitator Training, or BFT, is for people who want to learn about human nature, about themselves, and about how they can help people with troubling personal issues.

Here’s just some of the learning you’ll get.

YOUR SHADOW AS A FACILITATOR AND HOW TO USE IT

  1. Love your dark side. We all have a “dark side” — parts of us that are in shadow. Only those who learn to see their dark side without shame can use it to help others. Those who can’t see their dark side will be controlled by it.
  2. Start a lifetime of feeling better about yourself. Many of us fear the part of ourselves that wants to take control. That controlling part of us, however, is the same part of us that wants to learn to facilitate. What it really wants is to create safety, for us and for those we’re trying to help. You’ll learn why you needn’t feel ashamed of your inner facilitator and how you can use it to make your participant feel safe.

HOW TO SPOT MAGICIAN WOUNDS AND USE THE MAGICIAN TOOLS

  1. Reveal what somebody’s really saying. You’ll learn how to “mirror,” a way of listening that helps someone find clarity.
  2. Be amazed as Mistakes morph before your very eyes into The Best Strategies Available At The Time. You’ll learn how to help people get the gold out of their mistakes and how to help them transform regret into compassion.
  3. Change somebody’s life during dinner. You’ll learn the seven-step What’s At Risk process, which can help a person move safely through a personal obstacle within minutes.
  4. View yourself from the other side of the room. Until you’ve tried it, you won’t believe how much clarity and perspective you get from having your inner voices spoken by role-players while you watch from a distance. You’ll learn to “split out” a participant’s inner voices and then what to do with their inner tableau.
  5. Spot a group participant who’d rather be anywhere else than in your group. If you lead groups, you know that people sometimes come to groups with fear of the group experience. You’ll learn to spot them and how to safely handle their fear and bring them back into the group.
  6. Find your inner light switch. You’ll learn to “switch” an unwanted sensation into something you want, and how to help the person you’re facilitating do the same.

HOW TO SPOT SOVEREIGN WOUNDS AND USE THE SOVEREIGN TOOLS

  1. Sense when you’re getting set up for a fall. We all have “circuitry” for idealizing someone or something and then getting betrayed. You’ll learn about the idealization-betrayal circuit and what to do when someone’s idealizing you.
  2. Why some people deflect compliments. When someone can’t accept something good, it probably means there’s a risk involved. You’ll learn to recognize when a risk is appearing, and how to facilitate the process that helps them deal with it.
  3. Pull an angel out of thin air. You’ll learn how to recognize someone in need of support from an ideal being, and how to get it to them.

HOW TO SPOT LOVER WOUNDS AND USE THE LOVER TOOLS

  1. Remove a lump from someone’s throat, without surgery! When your participant wants to be free of an unwanted sensation in their body, the Metaphor Pull-Out process helps them pull it out.
  2. Talk to an adult who has just turned into a kid. There’s a special way of talking to somebody when they’re experiencing a Lover wound, developed by David Grove. You’ll learn how to use it and experience why it works so well.

HOW TO SPOT WARRIOR WOUNDS AND USE THE WARRIOR TOOLS

  1. What your “ego” really is and why it doesn’t deserve its bad rep. You’ll learn why your ego isn’t bad at all and why it’s essential to your sense of self.
  2. Give the power to the people. You’ll learn to recognize when a participant’s power is not available to them and how to help them regain control of it.

WHAT A SHAME-FREE CONTAINER IS LIKE

  1. Start creating a family of choice. The training environment is a shame-free place where you can be who you are. There’s simply no better learning environment. Many people come to feel a close bond with their fellow trainees that’s thicker than water. We all have a family of origin; we can also have a family of choice.
  2. Laugh about your family and what a corker life really is. You’ll learn one of Shadow Work’s best-kept secrets: that we laugh a lot when we’re together. When we find compassion for our wounds, we get a new perspective on human nature that’s both endearing and hilarious. Carl Jung was known for his wonderful laugh. Maybe you’ll become known for yours.

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO FACILITATE

  1. Watch some great acting. You’ll do more than study. You’ll practice. At first, you’ll practice on the trainers, some of the world’s best unpaid actors (uh…).
  2. Get hands-on experience. You’ll facilitate real processes in a team with other trainees, with the trainers coaching you in a supportive learning environment. Shadow Work trainers are known for their affirming way of giving feedback.

HOW GOOD THIS WORK FEELS

And the number one thing you’ll learn at the BFT:

  1. Something surprisingly good about yourself. After you’ve learned and practiced the processes, you’ll do a piece of your own work. It will give you an opportunity to “feel from the inside-out” one of the processes you’ve learned to facilitate. You might do Sovereign work and feel what it’s like to get, and give, unconditional love. You might do Warrior work and break your personal record for yards rushing. You might do Magician work and learn about the risks that have been standing in your way. You might do Lover work and get rid of a physical symptom.

Whatever kind of work you do, you’ll resolve an issue that’s been troubling you, perhaps for years.

For more information on the Basic Facilitator Training.

For the dates of upcoming Trainings, see the Events Calendar.

When Negative Thoughts Get in the Way

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February 2019, by Karin Green

WE ALL HAVE ONE!

We all have one, a voice that expresses criticism or frustration, disapprove of our actions. It might sound like “what’s wrong with you”, “why can’t you get it together”, “that was stupid”, “they will find out you don’t know enough”.

At best these negative thoughts are just present like background noise, and at worst they might paralyze you, prevent you from a successful career, a healthy relationship and may even lead to depression.

The good news is: you have the power to change these negative thoughts. You were not born with these negative thoughts. Below are some ways to begin to disrupt them so that you can start building new, more positive messages.

STEP 1: BECOME AWARE.

No matter how strong this voice seems, the act of noticing the voice begins the shift away from their impact on you. You cannot change what you are not aware of.

One way to become aware is to just sit with your thoughts and watch them. Imagine the thoughts being like water in a river, just flowing by you. The goal here is to notice, not to catch the thought.

In this step, just focus your awareness on the facts and messages of the voice. Don’t let your mind wander into the analysis of “why” you have this voice right now, and don’t allow yourself to argue with the voice. For now, just notice that you have a voice.

STEP 2: WHOSE VOICE IS THAT? [Read more…]

Selfish Spirituality

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February 2019, by Cliff Barry with Heidi Loeppky

I used to call myself Moonbeam.  I was a real Flower Child.  When people asked me where I was from, I would say “The Universe.”    

Now, I was on a significant spiritual journey, an honorable quest, to “let go of the ego” or perhaps even “annihilate the ego”.  And I discovered that there’s clearly some value in letting go of your ego at times.  But letting go of your ego can become like a dog chasing its tail.  I once had a teacher stop me dead in my tracks by asking me:

“And exactly who is it that is trying to annihilate the ego?”. 

“Ooooh…I guess that would be my ego,” I had to admit sheepishly. 

In Shadow Work®, we believe there are 4 main energies that make up a human being, one of which is responsible for sustaining your ego.  Scientists name these genetic pre-dispositions as Novelty-Seeking, Harm Avoidance, Dependence and Persistence.   Everyone has some mix of these four genetic drives.  And your particular mix plays a big part in determining your unique personality.

Your genetic pre-disposition called Persistence has the special function of creating and maintaining your personal sense of self, your ego. 

Your ego is the mechanism that anchors all the other parts of you and gives you agency to act in the world.  Without an ego, you can’t do much in the world.  That’s why we like to say that “Ego is job one.”  If your ego is well built you can be an effective agent of power, love, wisdom and service in the world.  So if you are looking for someone who can perform well under pressure, get someone with a big ego.  That’s why you want an airline pilot with a big ego.  That’s why you want a brain surgeon with a big ego.  Ego is needed to get things done.   

An unhealthy ego, on the other hand, leads to a shaky performance.   That’s why as Moonbeam I had trouble making money.  That’s why you wouldn’t want Moonbeam flying your plane.

A weak ego will cause you to belittle others, in order to temporarily boost your cardboard identity.  Or, in the other extreme, the weak ego with cause you to become a meek, indecisive wallflower who is afraid to take up space by speaking or acting with power.  Both of these weak egos are like a container with cracks and holes through which the energy to get things done simply leaks out onto the ground.

Here’s one of my favorite metaphors to illustrate the value of building a healthy ego.

Your ego is a lot like the earth, orbiting around the sun.  The earth has its own momentum which wants to break out of its orbit and follow its own straight path into the universe, never to return.   You get caught up in this perilous momentum when you feel separate from Spirit (or your Higher Self, or the Divine, or Source or whatever you want to call it).

When you get over-confident (or you start to see yourself as spiritually superior, or you believe you’ve got it all figured out) you are like a planet on a hubristic trajectory, heading directly away from the sun, and therefore away from the center of your own survival.  You probably call this “being selfish.” 

When you are like a planet trying to speed off into infinity, you can, indeed, find some help in the teachings that recommend a dissolution of the ego.   Getting outside your own ego can offer some incredible life-altering gems.  Shifting your focus off yourself and towards something higher is an important step.

But you can overdo it.  Consider for a moment what would happen to the earth if it lost all of its own individual momentum.  Suppose the earth abandoned its own trajectory and surrendered completely to the pull of the sun.  The earth would fall into the sun.  It would absorbed completely by the sun.  And while the sun might become incrementally bigger, all the millions of species of life on earth would perish. 

In a solar system where the sun is powerfully pulling everything in towards itself, the opposing force of the earth’s individual momentum is the only thing protecting life on earth. 

Even though the sun and the earth are essentially one, (all matter is made of molecules that came from stars like the sun) there are millions of reasons to retain a sense of distinctness.  This distinctness allows us to experience a unique essence. 

Like the earth in this story, our ego sometimes has a desire to go off on its own, in the opposite direction of Spirit.  But if our individual momentum can be balanced with the pulling force of Spirit, the self can orbit around Spirit in much the same way as the earth orbits around the sun.  This balance is the most fertile and productive formula yet to be discovered by science.  The human species alone has almost 8 billion unique expressions of Spirit, no two alike, but all manifestations of the same essence.  Each individual ego is a container capable of shaping Spirit into a never-before-seen art form.

Many mythologies present this miracle as the reason life was created, so that the one consciousness could experience its own depth and breadth through a full range of manifestations.

Like light refracting through a prism to disseminate the visible color spectrum, Spirit can refract itself thought your ego, which allows you to fulfill your purpose as one of the most complex and beautiful masterpieces of all.S

Cliff Barry is a Shadow Work Founder, Certified Coach, Facilitator, Trainer and Mentor.

Heidi Loeppky is the founder of Shamaya Tantra and is currently training as a Shadow Work® facilitator. She is the co-creator of the Canadian Tantra Festival and offers regular Tantra workshops in her home base of Edmonton, Alberta. Her websites are ShamayaTantra.com and CanadaTantra.com.

This article originally appeared in our free email newsletter in February 2019. To subscribe, visit our subscription page.

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Birthplace of Shadow Work® Seminars

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by Cliff and Alyce Barry – 

The original version of this article was written when the house was for sale.

The cradle of Shadow Work® Seminars, Inc., is an Amish-built log house on 16 acres of woodland with a stream. Its great room is large enough for workshops, trainings, and other gatherings.

birthplace of Shadow Work Seminars, Inc., in Mount Horeb Wisconsin near Madison
The house is the former home of Tim Barry (the brother of Shadow Work® founder Cliff Barry and newsletter editor Alyce Barry) and his wife, Terese Guiliani.

Cliff lived in Tim’s house from 1993 to 1997.

MILESTONES

In 1993, Cliff had been running Accelerated Behavior Change (ABC) weekends for several years and was also a ManKind Project (MKP) leader.

While living in the log house, Cliff filed papers to make Shadow Work® Seminars a corporation, the first business milestone. Up to that point, he had been calling his model by several names, including Life Force Training. It was at this time that Cliff began using the name Shadow Work® and began the process of trade marking that name.

Cliff and his partner, Mary Ellen Whalen, began offering Shadow Work® facilitator trainings, and many of them were held in that house.

Cliff, Mary Ellen, and Tim were the first officers of the Shadow Work® corporation. Many of Shadow Work’s core business practices were formed there, and Cliff sees the impact of Wisconsin culture on the way the company does business.

“We had a sweat lodge out back,” Cliff remembers. “We did regular sweats, and I think that had a lot to do with the ethical business practices we developed. We formed some of our foundational principles there, both for the business and for Shadow Work itself.”

Cliff and his wife, Vicki Woodard, were married in the house, surrounded by friends and the Barry family, in 2005. Officiating was Mary Ellen Whalen, who is now a Sufi minister.

log home and retreat center for sale in Mount Horeb Wisconsin near Madison

VIDEO

Lee Barry (another Barry brother) produced a lovely, personal video about the home, which undoubtedly helped Tim and Terese find a buyer.

Because Shadow Work® isn’t widely known, the video didn’t mention that the house is the company’s birthplace. But it’s true.

 

This article originally appeared in our free email newsletter. To subscribe, visit our subscription page.

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